This weekend I attended my first ever Hag Night (a cross between a stag party and a hen night) for a friend of mine who is a few weeks away from his civil partnership.
Unsurprisingly, the feelings of frustration about life surfaced – given that we are about the same age and most of the other folks at the event were women, I couldn’t help but feel a bit inadequate with my life and the lack of a relationship, marriage or children.
Whilst I can live with the lack of the last two, the lack of a relationship is something that grates – partly because of the void, but more importantly because of the negative feelings it generates. I dislike the idea that I have these recieved concepts in my head that equate value or relative worthiness with being in a relationship.
I’ve often struggled with singledom – not because I have some sort of comfort zone in relationships (far from it – I don’t think I’ve ever actually been in one) – but because some years ago, I decided to embrace the statement that some people are destined to live their life single. Intellectually I have seized that idea, but emotionally, I haven’t found the natural balance to find comfort in it.
So, the question that I’m trying to answer how do you accept your singledom and embrace it, rather than see it as something to be filled?